WE'VE MOVED!!!!

Come join the fun at our new blog home:

PEAS AND CARROTS

This will be my last post on Little Pea.

Big NEWS!!!

It's.....





a....




new....





BLOG!! What?...What did you think I was talking about? Tricked ya, eh?!

But. hopefully THAT post will be coming soon. And, with that in mind, it is time to move on to a new little spot in the blogosphere. I actually considered giving up my blog for awhile. Kinda lost my blog mojo and figured it was just time move on. During that thought process I was also feverishly working on some photobooks and found myself frequently referencing my blog in order to remember certain details and events. That is when I realized I really wasn't quite ready to throw in the towel. I still got some good bloggin' left in me! That is, if I can take the time to actually BLOG. I always have great ideas throughout the day and then...well...then I get tired and lazy and other things take priority. So, I just do the best I can at any given time so it ebbs and flows.

Back to the move...with the impending expansion of our family and the evolution of life, it is time to move on and make our mark in a new bloggy neighborhood. The new blog is still under construction, but come on over and join me in our new home!

Peas and Carrots

I will keep little pea open for awhile until we all get settled in our new place.

Come on over and leave me some blog love at our new home to let me know you found us!

Siblings and family connections

I recently started reading some of the blogs in the Open Adoption Blogs network (check it out HERE) and there have been a lot of discussions around siblings lately through the open adoption round table. It was perfect timing because I have been thinking a lot lately about pea's birth family and the birth family of our future child. At this time, we do not have any contact with pea's birth family, but we do have some limited information, which is incredibly invaluable. But, it isn't enough. I want more. I have been feeling this sense of loss knowing pea's birth family is out there, somewhere. Knowing that there is an entire family, community, culture connected to my son that we know very little about is very painful sometimes. These are pieces of my son. Parts of his life story. And, there are others in this world who look like him. I find that so amazing to think about. I don't know why, but maybe it is because those connections seem so far away and out of reach. We really hope to find some of pea's birth family, but there is definitely a possibility that we may not, given some of the circumstances.

We are very lucky to have a few pictures of pea's birth mother. I look at her picture and I can see my son through her eyes. I often wonder if his siblings have the same eyes, the same mannerisms, and the same little quirks that make my heart smile. Perhaps one day, pea will be able to see a reflection of himself through his birth family. But, until that time, we just hold on tight to what we do have.

With that said, however, I can definitely see how a lack of information and connection can lead to the development of fantasies about birth families. I even find myself doing it. With no information, we create the story and image that feels the most comforting. So, how do we develop "realistic" images of birth families that we do not know? And, most importantly, how do we help our children do this as well?

How do you try to "fill the gaps" without creating a fantasy image of birth families? And, how do you do it in a way that is validating? As pea starts to ask more questions (specifically, why? why? why?), I sometimes find myself stumbling around trying to answer his questions in simple terms, but I struggle at times! I would love to hear your approach and any tips for having these conversations with your little ones.

FFF - Fall Fun

We have been having a lot of fun this fall and definitely keeping busy! It has been all about pumpkins and Halloween around our house lately. Pea has visited three pumpkin patches so we are up to our ears in pumpkins!

The pumpkin fest started a couple weeks ago...
Pea probably would have taken home every pumpkin in the patch. This is his "cheese" smile.

Posing with Mr. Pumpkinhead

We also rode the pumpkin train which took us to a little pumpkin patch and then pea went on a field trip with his preschool class to yet another pumpkin patch.


Halloween also started tonight for us with a super fun Halloween party! My mom's group put on a really great Halloween party for all the kiddos and pea had so much fun. They played pin the nose on the witch, climbed in and out of tunnels, played tag, and went trick or treating in the "spooky" hallway. Pea especially enjoyed being on stage putting on his "show." He is definitely a little ham sometimes and knows how to milk it! Here is his little spidey pose before "spinning" into his dance routine.

He definitely took center stage!

Those of you on facebook know that pea initially wanted to be a booger for Halloween...then it was a snake...then it was the Masked Avenger (from Backyardigans)...then it was Mr. Cracker (????)...then it was a shark...a chicken...he finally said he wanted to be spiderman. After all that and he ends up being spiderman??? (Oh, you may also remember that last year he really wanted to be a giant clam.) Should I admit I was a little disappointed he changed his mind about being a booger?? How funny would that have been? I had a really great costume idea, too. Oh well! He makes a mighty fine spiderman!

We have more activities this coming week, too. The Halloween parade, trick or treat night, and a fall fest. Hope you are having a fun fall, too!! Check out more FFF on Hannah's blog HERE.

Still waiting...

for the phone to ring!! This adoption process so far has been very different for many, many reasons. For starters, the paperwork for this adoption was a BREEZE compared to Eli's adoption. Nothing really compares to compiling an international dossier! But, we were required to complete an adoption profile, which is a profile (kind of a like a scrapbook) all about our family. When we first started exploring adoption many years ago, the idea of creating an adoption profile really turned me off. I hated the idea of it, to be quite honest. I realize now I was just scared and very uneasy about domestic adoption for many reasons. And, it just did not feel like the right path for us at the time. We were so strongly drawn to Guatemala and, of course, now we know why!

Even so, domestic adoption still made me uneasy. There are so many misconceptions about adoption and about the women who make an adoption plan and I am sure that fueled some of my fears. I also felt very nervous about the idea of an open adoption. Would that somehow undermine my role as mom? Would it be too confusing? Too complicated? Too messy? What if she changes her mind? etc, etc, etc. It certainly is A LOT to think about and requires much soul searching. And, it is extremely important to explore these fears and concerns before moving forward.

But, now that I am a mom, an adoptive mom, and a mom in a multiracial family, my perspective has completely shifted and I am not scared at all. I realize that many of my previous fears were very self-centered, but that is because I did not have any other experiences to draw from. Now I know that it is not all about me. Why would I NOT want my child to know his/her birth family, to have answers, information, someone to resemble, and, most importanly, more love? Yes, it could be messy and complicated, but...aren't all families? One of the greatest gifts I can give my children is an open heart - open to the fact that each of my children has a family and a cultural history completely different than my own. It is part of who they are. I am certainly not naive to think it won't sometimes feel uncomfortable or be difficult, but navigating those waters is my responsibility as a parent.

We have no idea what the next phone call will bring. We have no idea what our relationship with the birth family will look like. What we do know is that our family will grow in ways we probably do not expect! It is very exciting. Of course, we are nervous, but our hearts are wide open and we are ready.

Waiting for Baby

Waiting...waiting...waiting for the phone to ring. The phone call that will forever change our lives...again. The first few weeks was a piece of cake, but now I am starting to feel a tad bit anxious. I realize I have not written much at all about this process so far so that will be the next post. In the meantime, here are a few more before and after photos.

Baby's room BEFORE. Lovely calico carpet!



Post carpet


Just before the floor sanding commenced.


AFTER!!! What a difference





Ready to personalize for baby! We took the shutters off in order to paint them white. My brother is also in the process of recovering the cushion on the glider and ottoman.



Pea LOVES going into the baby's room. After the furniture was moved into the room, Pea announced he wanted to see the baby's room. He ran in and said "Awwwwww...this is a cute baby room! I love it!' Last week Pea went into the baby's room and said "maybe the baby is in here now."



Pea also asked me last week when we were going to Guatemala to get his baby brother. Yes, now he thinks he is getting a brother. I explained that the baby was not going to be born in Guatemala and he seemed very perplexed because, after all, aren't all babies born in Guatemala? :)

Pea Faces

Pea has been learning about feelings this week at school (and he certainly expresses a lot of them!) so he had fun showing me all of his "faces." He took a break from building his firehouse and firetrucks for this game.

Happy face...so sweet!

Awwww...the sad face.

Mad face...he was trying really hard not to laugh so this is not really a true reflection of his mad face. Actually, his mad face is a full body experience.

Excited! This is the silly kind of excited.

He called this is "ferocious" face. I love the half chewed candy corn in his mouth!

His "empty" face. Not sure what to think about that description. Are they talking about empty feelings at preschool?!?!

Sleepy face.

And...the SILLY face. Fire hat, blinking glasses, and...dare I admit to this...a fart sound toy. Ahhh...the joys of being a boy.

Before and After

Just so you know...we really have been working very hard on our house so here is a little taste. I need to take some more "after" pictures so I will post more later.

First of all, here she is!! We have done NOTHING outside so we are surrounded by a jungle right now. As you can see, there is a strip of grassless yard in the front...one week before our closing the water company discovered a leak in the main water line. The previous owners had it repaired right away and paid for it! We were so lucky! Plus, the initial plan was to tear up the driveway, but thank goodness they found a way around that.

Pea's room BEFORE. Lavendar walls and lovely purple carpet! You can see the "after" in my previous post. We ripped out the carpet and had the hardwood floor refinished. We painted the walls and the woodwork. My brother is also currently working on some super duper cute valances for pea's room and I can't wait to see them! You may remember that he also made pea's crib skirt and a matching valance. We are reusing those in the baby's room.

Our lovely, lovely dining room...BEFORE! There were three layers of wallpaper, ugly paneling, and hideous carpet. We ripped out the carpet and had the hardwood floor refinished. It is BEAUTIFUL! We took down the paneling and all of the wallpaper. Painted the ceiling (including the beams), walls, and woodwork. Then, my brother worked his magic, yet again, by designing and installing the custom wainscotting. He is a genius. Seriously! He and my brother-in-law can do absolutely ANYTHING house related from custom window treatments to major renovations. They have been more than generous with their time in helping us with some of our projects. Oh, and the wall to the right will eventually be opened up into the kitchen. AFTER...we still need to paint the wainscotting (white), but it is already a huge improvement! (don't worry, the curtains are gone!)
There is still a lot of work to be done, but we are slowly making it OUR home. It really is a great feeling! Yes, the work really sucks and we are a little tired of it, but we have a lot of the major stuff done for now so we can slow down for awhile, especially when the baby arrives. By the way, the nursery is painted, the crib is ready, itty bitty onesies and sleepers are in the dresser...all patiently waiting.

FFF - Jump!

Okay, this is not a "literal" jump...but, our family is definitely jumping feet first into some big changes! We recently finished painting pea's room and he was finally able to "jump" up into his real big boy bed. He is very excited and even told me the next day I was not allowed in "his" room. What?? I thought that didn't happen until the teen years?!?!

Next is the baby's room! We will be painting that room this weekend and we have to get it set up ASAP because....we are officially APPROVED! Woohoo!!!! So, that means we could get a call any any time and that call could be "can you be at the _____(fill in the blank) hospital in 24 hours" or we could get a call to be matched with a birth mother due in 8-10 weeks. According to our adoption coordinator, there is a high probability we could receive the first kind of call so we have to be prepared. This process has been so completely different so it is a little hard for us to wrap our minds around everything! One question a lot of people have been asking us is if we can choose the gender of the baby and the answer is no. So it will be a big surprise! How fun is that?! Pea is convinced he is getting a sister...time will tell! Nothing like "jumping" right in with no idea what that next phone call will bring!

See more FFF posts at Hannah's blog HERE.

Bargain Hunter or Hoarder?

You all know from previous posts that I love a good bargain! So, I have been taking FULL advantage of some pretty amazing diaper deals to get ready for our newest addition! I have been carrying around all of these diapers in my trunk for about 3 months and finally decided it was time to take them out (the nesting has begun!). Pea decided to take full advantage and built himself a diaper house. I counted up the diapers and figured we are stocked up for about six months! Isn't that crazy?!?! Seriously, I got these diapers either free or under $5.00 a package. Who can pass that up?!

So, we are finally starting to settle in more at our new house. All of our floors are either newly carpeted or refinished (hardwood) so we have been able to start unpacking a little and arranging our furniture. Before the floors were finished, we were basically living out of one room! It feels so great to be able to spread out and really start to enjoy our house. We still have a lot of work to do, but we can relax a little more now.

Adoption news...we had our final home study visit last Sunday and we are almost ready to go "active." That means we will be ready to take a call at any time. Our agency has been informing us that we could be matched very quickly so we have to be prepared. Consequently, we had to delay our process a little bit due to our move (unthinkable, I know!). We could be matched with a birth mother who is due in 10 weeks (generally no longer that that) or we could be given a 24 hour notice to be at the hospital. This process has been completely different and the idea that it could possibly happen quickly is a little mind boggling! Of course, we all know that the adoption process is unpredictable so anything is possible. Even so, we are excited and nervous about the possibility of welcoming another child into our family in the next few months.

Pea is also starting preschool next week so that will be a very big change for him. But, I think he is going to love it!

This summer has been about big changes for our family...new house, new day care, and preparing for a new baby. Very exciting stuff!