Saturday, November 20, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
BLOG!! What?...What did you think I was talking about? Tricked ya, eh?!
But. hopefully THAT post will be coming soon. And, with that in mind, it is time to move on to a new little spot in the blogosphere. I actually considered giving up my blog for awhile. Kinda lost my blog mojo and figured it was just time move on. During that thought process I was also feverishly working on some photobooks and found myself frequently referencing my blog in order to remember certain details and events. That is when I realized I really wasn't quite ready to throw in the towel. I still got some good bloggin' left in me! That is, if I can take the time to actually BLOG. I always have great ideas throughout the day and then...well...then I get tired and lazy and other things take priority. So, I just do the best I can at any given time so it ebbs and flows.
Back to the move...with the impending expansion of our family and the evolution of life, it is time to move on and make our mark in a new bloggy neighborhood. The new blog is still under construction, but come on over and join me in our new home!
I will keep little pea open for awhile until we all get settled in our new place.
Come on over and leave me some blog love at our new home to let me know you found us!
Friday, October 29, 2010
We are very lucky to have a few pictures of pea's birth mother. I look at her picture and I can see my son through her eyes. I often wonder if his siblings have the same eyes, the same mannerisms, and the same little quirks that make my heart smile. Perhaps one day, pea will be able to see a reflection of himself through his birth family. But, until that time, we just hold on tight to what we do have.
With that said, however, I can definitely see how a lack of information and connection can lead to the development of fantasies about birth families. I even find myself doing it. With no information, we create the story and image that feels the most comforting. So, how do we develop "realistic" images of birth families that we do not know? And, most importantly, how do we help our children do this as well?
How do you try to "fill the gaps" without creating a fantasy image of birth families? And, how do you do it in a way that is validating? As pea starts to ask more questions (specifically, why? why? why?), I sometimes find myself stumbling around trying to answer his questions in simple terms, but I struggle at times! I would love to hear your approach and any tips for having these conversations with your little ones.
Friday, October 22, 2010
The pumpkin fest started a couple weeks ago...
Pea probably would have taken home every pumpkin in the patch. This is his "cheese" smile.
Posing with Mr. Pumpkinhead
Halloween also started tonight for us with a super fun Halloween party! My mom's group put on a really great Halloween party for all the kiddos and pea had so much fun. They played pin the nose on the witch, climbed in and out of tunnels, played tag, and went trick or treating in the "spooky" hallway. Pea especially enjoyed being on stage putting on his "show." He is definitely a little ham sometimes and knows how to milk it! Here is his little spidey pose before "spinning" into his dance routine.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Even so, domestic adoption still made me uneasy. There are so many misconceptions about adoption and about the women who make an adoption plan and I am sure that fueled some of my fears. I also felt very nervous about the idea of an open adoption. Would that somehow undermine my role as mom? Would it be too confusing? Too complicated? Too messy? What if she changes her mind? etc, etc, etc. It certainly is A LOT to think about and requires much soul searching. And, it is extremely important to explore these fears and concerns before moving forward.
But, now that I am a mom, an adoptive mom, and a mom in a multiracial family, my perspective has completely shifted and I am not scared at all. I realize that many of my previous fears were very self-centered, but that is because I did not have any other experiences to draw from. Now I know that it is not all about me. Why would I NOT want my child to know his/her birth family, to have answers, information, someone to resemble, and, most importanly, more love? Yes, it could be messy and complicated, but...aren't all families? One of the greatest gifts I can give my children is an open heart - open to the fact that each of my children has a family and a cultural history completely different than my own. It is part of who they are. I am certainly not naive to think it won't sometimes feel uncomfortable or be difficult, but navigating those waters is my responsibility as a parent.
We have no idea what the next phone call will bring. We have no idea what our relationship with the birth family will look like. What we do know is that our family will grow in ways we probably do not expect! It is very exciting. Of course, we are nervous, but our hearts are wide open and we are ready.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Baby's room BEFORE. Lovely calico carpet!
Just before the floor sanding commenced.
AFTER!!! What a difference
Ready to personalize for baby! We took the shutters off in order to paint them white. My brother is also in the process of recovering the cushion on the glider and ottoman.
Pea LOVES going into the baby's room. After the furniture was moved into the room, Pea announced he wanted to see the baby's room. He ran in and said "Awwwwww...this is a cute baby room! I love it!' Last week Pea went into the baby's room and said "maybe the baby is in here now."
Pea also asked me last week when we were going to Guatemala to get his baby brother. Yes, now he thinks he is getting a brother. I explained that the baby was not going to be born in Guatemala and he seemed very perplexed because, after all, aren't all babies born in Guatemala? :)
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Happy face...so sweet!
Awwww...the sad face.
Mad face...he was trying really hard not to laugh so this is not really a true reflection of his mad face. Actually, his mad face is a full body experience.
Excited! This is the silly kind of excited.
He called this is "ferocious" face. I love the half chewed candy corn in his mouth!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
First of all, here she is!! We have done NOTHING outside so we are surrounded by a jungle right now. As you can see, there is a strip of grassless yard in the front...one week before our closing the water company discovered a leak in the main water line. The previous owners had it repaired right away and paid for it! We were so lucky! Plus, the initial plan was to tear up the driveway, but thank goodness they found a way around that.
Pea's room BEFORE. Lavendar walls and lovely purple carpet! You can see the "after" in my previous post. We ripped out the carpet and had the hardwood floor refinished. We painted the walls and the woodwork. My brother is also currently working on some super duper cute valances for pea's room and I can't wait to see them! You may remember that he also made pea's crib skirt and a matching valance. We are reusing those in the baby's room.
Our lovely, lovely dining room...BEFORE! There were three layers of wallpaper, ugly paneling, and hideous carpet. We ripped out the carpet and had the hardwood floor refinished. It is BEAUTIFUL! We took down the paneling and all of the wallpaper. Painted the ceiling (including the beams), walls, and woodwork. Then, my brother worked his magic, yet again, by designing and installing the custom wainscotting. He is a genius. Seriously! He and my brother-in-law can do absolutely ANYTHING house related from custom window treatments to major renovations. They have been more than generous with their time in helping us with some of our projects. Oh, and the wall to the right will eventually be opened up into the kitchen. AFTER...we still need to paint the wainscotting (white), but it is already a huge improvement! (don't worry, the curtains are gone!)
There is still a lot of work to be done, but we are slowly making it OUR home. It really is a great feeling! Yes, the work really sucks and we are a little tired of it, but we have a lot of the major stuff done for now so we can slow down for awhile, especially when the baby arrives. By the way, the nursery is painted, the crib is ready, itty bitty onesies and sleepers are in the dresser...all patiently waiting.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Next is the baby's room! We will be painting that room this weekend and we have to get it set up ASAP because....we are officially APPROVED! Woohoo!!!! So, that means we could get a call any any time and that call could be "can you be at the _____(fill in the blank) hospital in 24 hours" or we could get a call to be matched with a birth mother due in 8-10 weeks. According to our adoption coordinator, there is a high probability we could receive the first kind of call so we have to be prepared. This process has been so completely different so it is a little hard for us to wrap our minds around everything! One question a lot of people have been asking us is if we can choose the gender of the baby and the answer is no. So it will be a big surprise! How fun is that?! Pea is convinced he is getting a sister...time will tell! Nothing like "jumping" right in with no idea what that next phone call will bring!
See more FFF posts at Hannah's blog HERE.