Waiting in anticipation for that amazing OUT call is hard!! It has come to the point where it is virtually all I think about...running scenarios through my head, fantasizing about what I will say, how to share the news with the world, and most importantly, celebrating with my best friend & dear husband. Can you tell I am ready for this news?!?! Let's get this party started! But, this can also be quite torturous not knowing when that call will come. On the flip side is the dreadful possibility of another previo. It's quite exhausting sometimes! So, what to do to pass the time and not go crazy??
I have been working very hard the last week or so on staying positive and focusing on all of the seemingly little things that make me smile, laugh, and feel grateful. Through this process, I have learned so much about myself, my amazing husband, our friends, our family, and people in general. Sometimes it is through life's greatest challenges that we find the greatest joy, see the best in ourselves and in others, and renew our faith in all that is good in the world. There are days that this process certainly gets the best of me, but I have learned to dig deep and find a source of strength I have never known before. Some days I handle this process with grace and other days, well....it is a struggle. But, through it all, this experience has been so much bigger, so much more amazing, and so much more life transforming than I ever could have imagined. This has not only been a journey to bring Eli home, but also a journey of learning patience, faith, hope, perseverance, and opening our hearts across the boundaries of language and culture to be forever connected to a woman we may never meet and to a family who has touched us deeply with their love and care for Eli.
So, this past weekend Jason and I decided that we needed some time to renew our spirits and reconnect. We spent Saturday evening reflecting on both of our visit trips, laughing at all of Eli's little funnies, laughing at our own little blunders in parenthood, assessing Eli's "well defined" 9 month old personality (he's definitely like his dad! hee hee), planning our next trip, fantasizing about future trips to Guatemala, discussing the house we are going to buy in Antigua (ha!), and expressing our shared deep love for Guatemala. These are the things that get us through.
Yes, we have grown weary of waiting. But, we know Eli will be home and the timing will be perfect. And, trust me, the whole world will hear our shouts and cries for joy when that day comes!