Monday, January 14, 2008

Passing the time....

Waiting in anticipation for that amazing OUT call is hard!! It has come to the point where it is virtually all I think about...running scenarios through my head, fantasizing about what I will say, how to share the news with the world, and most importantly, celebrating with my best friend & dear husband. Can you tell I am ready for this news?!?! Let's get this party started! But, this can also be quite torturous not knowing when that call will come. On the flip side is the dreadful possibility of another previo. It's quite exhausting sometimes! So, what to do to pass the time and not go crazy??

I have been working very hard the last week or so on staying positive and focusing on all of the seemingly little things that make me smile, laugh, and feel grateful. Through this process, I have learned so much about myself, my amazing husband, our friends, our family, and people in general. Sometimes it is through life's greatest challenges that we find the greatest joy, see the best in ourselves and in others, and renew our faith in all that is good in the world. There are days that this process certainly gets the best of me, but I have learned to dig deep and find a source of strength I have never known before. Some days I handle this process with grace and other days, well....it is a struggle. But, through it all, this experience has been so much bigger, so much more amazing, and so much more life transforming than I ever could have imagined. This has not only been a journey to bring Eli home, but also a journey of learning patience, faith, hope, perseverance, and opening our hearts across the boundaries of language and culture to be forever connected to a woman we may never meet and to a family who has touched us deeply with their love and care for Eli.

So, this past weekend Jason and I decided that we needed some time to renew our spirits and reconnect. We spent Saturday evening reflecting on both of our visit trips, laughing at all of Eli's little funnies, laughing at our own little blunders in parenthood, assessing Eli's "well defined" 9 month old personality (he's definitely like his dad! hee hee), planning our next trip, fantasizing about future trips to Guatemala, discussing the house we are going to buy in Antigua (ha!), and expressing our shared deep love for Guatemala. These are the things that get us through.

Yes, we have grown weary of waiting. But, we know Eli will be home and the timing will be perfect. And, trust me, the whole world will hear our shouts and cries for joy when that day comes!

10 comments:

Jess said...

I admire you.

Donna said...

Oh Steph, you sound so strong and just where you need to be! I remember this time so well. Sometimes I thought I had positive-thunk myself to pieces. Lol! I grew so much during our adoption wait.
And the last post? Guatemalan food! I am GRAVING it! Something bad. I "googled" and found a Guatemalan restaurant in Texas, wanna meet for lunch?

Beth said...

Tears, tears... beautifully written.

Jennifer & Derek said...

So glad to hear your spirits are better than last week. I'm glad to be on this journey with you and know that we will both look back on this time and see how much we have grown because of it. And it does help to make you a better parent - I learned many things with our first adoption but I guess I've had much more to learn with this one too!

Bobbi said...

You are very strong.


They do say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. This process certainly does that!

I cannot wait for the day that you bring that little boy home. There will be celebrating all around.

The G's said...

Very well said!! I can relate to ALL of it!! That is exactly where I am right now! Some days I can be strong, and on other days I totally lose it!! This process is difficult, but the end IS coming and our little ones are SO worth the wait! Thinking and praying for you today!

I can't wait to read about your call!! What an exciting day it will be!!!!

Becca said...

You are such a positive person! I was not quite as patient and gracious as you are. I can't wait until the post that is entitled OUT! Praying for your family...

Becca

Emily said...

I am inspired and amazed by your positive outlook and perserverance throughout this process. I know I have said this before but Eli is SO lucky to have you and Jason as his parents. :-)

Emily

Guatemama said...

Steph,
I think it is wonderful how you always make the best out of whatever goes on. I really hope and pray you get the out call soon. I can't wait to meet up. You are a great Mom already.
Take care
Tracy

Shelly said...

As always, you continue to amaze me. I am so blessed to have you in my life (both of you) and as my little sister, I look up to you in awe. Thank you for the gift of you and how you have enriched my life. You will forever be one of my most favorite people in the world. I have told you this many times before and will say it a million times more. You are a beautiful person. The timing of all things in life are not our own but Eli was meant to be your son before he was ever born. How beautiful the connection you both feel to his birth country and to his story and all people who are a part of him. Thank you for sharing this story with all of us.