He's back!!!

What a week!! Eli started off the week with Roseola and some major teething (back molars) and then the grieving started. We initally attributed it to his illness and not feeling well, but I think being sick may have helped bring out his grief. We all want comfort and familiarity when sick and Eli has lost everything that is familiar and comfortable. Everything. I can't imagine how stressful and scary that must be. There were several episodes in which Eli would just start crying/screaming/waling uncontrollably and there was nothing I could do to comfort him. He screamed for me to hold him, but then he would push me away. If I put him down, he would start screaming even more. Oh, it was just heartbreaking and I felt so helpless.

He also had several very restless nights of sleep. It was like he just could not get comfortable and he rolled all over the bed all night. There was one night I basically held onto his arm or foot all night to keep him from rolling off the bed. I tried putting him in the pack-n-play, but he screamed! So, he rolled and I hung on tight! Needless to say, neither one of us got much sleep! For several days, Eli also woke up crying in the mornings and from his naps. He has also been especially clingy with me. I can't even go to the bathroom without him crying or searching me out. If I close the door, he stands outside the door and whines. Right now, he needs a lot of comfort and closeness.

But, we had a big shift Friday night. He went to bed pretty early and started the night sleeping on my lap. He fell asleep very quickly and did not stir at all even when we took him to bed. He was conked out! We had not seen this in several days. We all slept very soundly until the tornado sirens woke us up in the middle of the night! Of all nights, the sirens go off when all three of us are finally getting some sleep. (thank goodness we were safe, though) We all went down to the basement and Eli just played, smiled, and laughed. I couldn't believe it! We were back in bed within an hour and none of us stirred until morning. Eli woke up Saturday morning smiling and laughing and was in such a wonderful mood all day. Oh, were we relieved to see that sweet smile again. He was so cute and funny all day. And, he again woke up this morning smiling and laughing.

I am sure we have not completely seen the end of his grief, but I hope we are past the worst of it. As hard as it is to see him go through this, I am actually very relieved. He needs to grieve. He lost his first family and everything that is safe and familiar. And, it also allows him to become more emotionally attached to us as we get through this together. We see him opening up to us more and more each day. I would be kidding myself if I said this was easy. It's not! It is so hard to watch him cry and scream and to not be able to ease his distress. And, it is so hard doubting and wondering if we are handling it the "right" way. But, when I watched Eli wrap his arms tightly around his daddy's neck last night with a huge smile on his face, I knew we must be doing something right.


Kickin' back as he got a ride around the house in the laundry basket.
He loves to swing! The higher the better!
Awww...his smile is back!! Look at those adorable rosie cheeks! I think he broke into a sweat bouncing on the couch.
"Hello? Who's there?" Eli LOVES to pretend everything is a phone. This happens to be the TV remote.