Monday, August 13, 2007

A Changed Man

Over the past few days, I have realized how the idea of becoming Eli's father has changed me. I already feel responsible for Eli's well-being, and I haven't even met him yet. I find myself wanting to be a better man. I want to be a positive role-model for my son. Over the past few months, I find myself more outgoing, caring, empathic, and generous. I now expect more of myself in all aspects of my life because of Eli. Everything we have experienced so far has transformed the man I was into a better "me." I now feel a stronger urge to be a better husband, a better teacher, a better uncle, a better son and brother, and a better everything.

I sense this is a part of the unspoken glamorous side of fatherhood . . . that and simply spending time with your children. You are provided a nudge from the universe into the deeper regions of yourself and asked to explore and examine what needs changing in your life to become a better human being in this world in order to nuture your son or daughter into a positive force in our world. You damn well better make the best of the opportunity because you only get so many nudging like this in life. I hope I don't squander my nudge.

4 comments:

Nicole said...

This is such a sweet post. Thank you for sharing with us.

Misty Jo said...

I am so touched by this blog, i just can't believe the journey you are facing. I am so proud of you both. And you are an AWESOME brother. I have always felt a special bond between us. You were my best friend growing up, even though there were times that you picked on me, lol! But I laugh and roll, sometimes cry from so much laughter, thinking about it now. GOOD TIMES :0)! Hugs & kisses to you all,
SIS

kirk said...

Don't listen to your sister she drinks alot and is prone to fits of delerium and black outs. Anyway there is light at the end of the tunnel little brother. Enjoy the time you have,there will be many more to come.And if you think you need any fatherly advise,don't call me,look deep with in yourself and think back to when we were kids,and hit him with a woooden spoon!Hey it worked for Mom!Tell Eli uncle Kirk,aunt Traci and cousin Josh says hello and we love him!

Beth said...

Very touching. My husband would agree in every way. Becoming a father changes you in every way... he has said that before, and I can see that it is true for you already. Thanks for sharing such a touching reflection.