Sunday, March 30, 2008

Well, we are settling back into the daily grind of waiting and missing our little boy like crazy. There really are no words to describe what it is like to say goodbye and now we have done it three times. We are so lucky to have spent this time with Eli, but we are certainly tired of saying goodbye. It helps knowing that his foster family loves him dearly and considers him a part of their family. They were so excited to see him at the end of our trip and he them. Eli is simply thriving in their care. He is healthy, happy, and developmentally right on track.

On this trip, for the first time, we could actually visualize Eli coming home. Being together as a family felt more real than ever. It is a wonderful feeling to have, though bittersweet when we have to say goodbye. On the way to Guatemala, we watched the movie "Martian Child" on the plane. It is a beautiful movie about adoption and finding that place of love, acceptance, and belonging. By the end of the movie, Jason and I were both crying, blubbering messes but it was the perfect beginning for an amazing week with our sweet pea. There are two quotes from the movie that stood out to me (may not be exact wording):

"We reached out into the universe and found one another. I don't know how and I don't know why, but we did and that is where we belong."

"Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up."

This past week with Eli was incredible in so many ways. It reinforced to us that everything we have been through on our journey to parenthood led us directly to little pea, all in perfect timing. And, the delays we are experiencing in bringing him home have provided us life changing opportunities. This realization does not take away the pain, anxiety, and longing but it helps us to focus on all of the wonderful blessings we have received in the midst of waiting. When I reflect back on everything we have experienced in the the past year, pain and anxiety is not the first thing I feel. I feel joy, gratitude, and overwhelming love. I will continue to feel anxious until our sweet pea comes home, but I will not allow that to erase the incredible love and joy he has brought into our lives. We smiled from ear to ear and laughed A LOT the whole week with Eli. I am still laughing out loud just thinking of Eli's funnies!! Here is one sweet moment. Oh, the simple things that make children laugh!! Enjoy.



12 comments:

Stacy said...

Oh, that video is sooo cute! I love the part where he laughed so hard he fell over. I'm praying that your sweet pea is home soon!!!

Stacy

Jess said...

He sounds exactly like Jadon when he laughs! It's so cute!!

I love your words. You are so real and honest. Raw in your pain and emotion but grounded in hope.

After watching your video from Antigua, I was thinking about when you said that you have fallen deeply in love with Guatemala during this time of waiting. You are so blessed in this way. So many parents just go from the airport, to the Marriott, to the airport again and never get to experience their child's first country. I know you'd MUCH rather have Eli in the U.S. and I want that for you too. But in the meantime, this is a huge blessing that will last all three of you a lifetime!

I pray every day that you will get the word that you are OUT of PGN. I hurt for you every day that you are not.

I believe that before the beginning of time, God established his plan for Eli to be your child. I hope that plan includes never having to say goodbye again.

Bobbi said...

I love it!! He laughed so hard he fell over. Isn't it funny what cracks them up.

I am glad that you had such a wonderful time. Let's hope soon you are together forever!!!

Love the slide show too. What beautiful pics. I bet it still doesn't capture what it is like to really experience it. Thanks for sharing.

Sandy said...

What a sweet little laugh! Watch that video over and over...until he is in your arms again! We're pulling for you...

Heidi said...

I am so glad you had a wonderful trip. I hope you have him in your arms soon...for good next time! He is so cute.

The gFamily said...

Thank you for sharing that sweet video! I LOVE to hear a baby laugh! He is too cute!!

Praying little pea is home very soon!

Jess said...

Yes, Steph, can you e-mail me and tell me how to post it. When I click on "get codes" and paste that to my post on my blog, it doesn't work.

My e-mail is jessicagunkel@gmail.com

Thank you!

Kim said...

That is great! It is so hard to leave them, but so heartwarming to see the love that our foster families have for our children. The experiences we have while with our children and visiting Guatemala is definately worth the pain of leaving. I hope you get to bring Eli home very soon!

Becca said...

Praying he is home soon!

Peace and Hugs,
Becca

Donna said...

Oh Steph - he is so sweet!! That is an adorable video! What a beautiful spirit he has!

Austin and Logan have Tagged Eli! They want to know more about him! He needs to list 10 random facts about himself!

Cheers, hugs, and prayers!

Guatemama said...

LOL Eli is so adorable! The video makes me smile!! He laughed so hard he fell over. Priceless!
I am so happy that you have all these memories to share with him when he gets older. Hoping this is the week!!

Thank you for posting the video from Antigua. It looks like it was an amazing week. Alex has enjoyed watching "Easter in Guatemala where I am from" :) Thanks for letting me share that with him via you guys. Means a lot to us both.
Tracy

Bobbi said...

Some fun for while you wait. You've been tagged!!