Well, we are settling back into the daily grind of waiting and missing our little boy like crazy. There really are no words to describe what it is like to say goodbye and now we have done it three times. We are so lucky to have spent this time with Eli, but we are certainly tired of saying goodbye. It helps knowing that his foster family loves him dearly and considers him a part of their family. They were so excited to see him at the end of our trip and he them. Eli is simply thriving in their care. He is healthy, happy, and developmentally right on track.
On this trip, for the first time, we could actually visualize Eli coming home. Being together as a family felt more real than ever. It is a wonderful feeling to have, though bittersweet when we have to say goodbye. On the way to Guatemala, we watched the movie "Martian Child" on the plane. It is a beautiful movie about adoption and finding that place of love, acceptance, and belonging. By the end of the movie, Jason and I were both crying, blubbering messes but it was the perfect beginning for an amazing week with our sweet pea. There are two quotes from the movie that stood out to me (may not be exact wording):
"We reached out into the universe and found one another. I don't know how and I don't know why, but we did and that is where we belong."
"Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up."
This past week with Eli was incredible in so many ways. It reinforced to us that everything we have been through on our journey to parenthood led us directly to little pea, all in perfect timing. And, the delays we are experiencing in bringing him home have provided us life changing opportunities. This realization does not take away the pain, anxiety, and longing but it helps us to focus on all of the wonderful blessings we have received in the midst of waiting. When I reflect back on everything we have experienced in the the past year, pain and anxiety is not the first thing I feel. I feel joy, gratitude, and overwhelming love. I will continue to feel anxious until our sweet pea comes home, but I will not allow that to erase the incredible love and joy he has brought into our lives. We smiled from ear to ear and laughed A LOT the whole week with Eli. I am still laughing out loud just thinking of Eli's funnies!! Here is one sweet moment. Oh, the simple things that make children laugh!! Enjoy.